Was It My Fault? The Abused Want To Know

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." John 8:32

I know this is an extremely sensitive subject. It's a subject most people don't like to talk about, especially we church folk. We'd rather just kind of do a bypass and talk about how good God is. Well yes, God is good, all the time, but how do we experience the fullness of It when our joy is buried under the guilt and shame of molestation? Harsh word, I know, but in this human incarnation it's a real word, and for millions of people, a real experience.

Scripture says before bringing your gifts to God, go and make it right with your brother. In a case such as this, that brother/sister is you. We must make it right within ourselves by first anchoring in light, love and safety. We are then placed in a position to come clean about the shame some of us still carry about being abused.

Healing starts with the realization it was never, ever, EVER your fault, and the very truth of your being has never been hurt, harmed or endangered in any way.

You might ask, what do you mean, I was never hurt, harmed or endangered? Well, we are spiritual beings, having a human experience. Yet, we are so much more than our human experiences – infinitely more. We are individualized expressions of God, Universal Presence, or whatever name you feel comfortable calling It, having a human experience.

The human experience is like the tip of an iceberg. The surface or external aspect of ourselves (which represents our five senses) feels and experiences pain, but the essence of us (our true selves) cannot be touched, harmed or damaged in anyway. The essence of our being is God, and no person or circumstance can take that away from us.

Yet, there’s deep spiritual work that must be done to see ourselves as we truly are – free, whole, beautiful, perfect and complete. This work consists of first forgiving ourselves, and while never condoning the inappropriate behavior of abuse, the willingness to forgive others. We then commit to a consistent practice of prayer and meditation, and with an open heart, began to see ourselves as God sees us – as Its beloved in whom It is well pleased.

I love you,

Ester

"Nothin" Broken Here"

There are many of us in this world who have come from so-called "broken" families, have experienced bias and discrimination based on someone else's opinion or judgment, out of their own false sense of "brokenness." We have all experienced an erroneous sense of unworthiness, not-enoughness and inadequacy - a feeling that something was missing, damaged and broken about us.

How did that happen? How did we, as perfect expressions of God invest so much of our energy into thinking we were so badly damaged that we didn't even deserve the infinite inexhaustible love of the divine? How did we become so hypnotized by the illusion of separation that we fell asleep to a love that is so unconditional and ever available, it would bring us to our knees in humility, awe and gratitude if we just remembered who we really were?

We were brainwashed. Not out of some conspiracy thing. No, the Universe is only conspiring for us to wake up and accept our birthright of beauty and wholeness. When I say brainwashed, it's not in an attempt to blame anyone, or even blame ourselves, but it happened. We misperceived something at some point in our lives, like maybe our parents divorcing, and deciding it was our fault, or some snotty nosed kid (who was going through the same thing we were experiencing) decided to bully us and tell us we were crap, and we believed it. We compared our insides to someone else's outsides that might've been looking pretty good that day, and deemed ourselves unworthy.

Maybe it was even deeper than that, maybe we were created perfectly as a lesbian, gay or a transgendered person, and because the world had their own prejudices and fears, projected their brainwashing onto us that we were the bottom feeders of the earth, instead of magnificent expressions of the divine, made in the image and likeness of God.

Or maybe we were molested or raped, and internalized that event to mean we were forever broken and damaged.

The point I'm trying to make is that we were not created with these beliefs about ourselves, but we were susceptible to them, and we bought them. So, how do we "unbuy" them and "be ye transformed by the renewing of our minds," as it states in scripture?

How do we embody the absolute truth that I know about you and about myself, that we are perfect just as we are -uniquely magnificent in every way?

There's no magic beloveds. We must began the chipping away of the illusion process. In cooperating with the great law of life to restore us to who were created to be, we are being called to make a commitment to our spiritual practice of forgiveness, contemplation of the nature of the universe and opening up to our oneness with it through daily prayer and meditation, being of service to others. Then let go and allow joy to express through to and through you.

I want to leave you with this. No matter what you've done or haven't done, no matter how you look, what you think, whether you've suffered from addictions, no matter what your sexual preferences or lifestyles may be, there is absolutely "Nothin' broken here," and nothing can separate you from the love of God. You're enough beloved.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers nor things present, nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God." _Romans 8:38

Can You Walk On Water?

Ever wonder how the "big guy" walked on water, healed the sick, raised the dead, and kept a cool head all at the same time? I never really gave it much thought, until now. In the past, I just thought Jesus had the hook-up that I didn't have. But now, that glib, dismissive way of thinking (just so I didn't have to think about it) isn't cutting it for me.

So . . . I thought about it. Now, admittedly, I'm not a bible expert in any sense of the word, but I just love how scripture, spiritually discerned is so compatible with metaphysical teachings.

Yup, Jesus did have the hook up, and so do we. We too have the spiritual mojo to rise above the turbulent waters, rejuvenate the dormant places in consciousness and embody wholeness in all our affairs. How? By understanding and embodying the absolute reality that God "is." It's that simple - God not only "is," It is all that there "is." It is all power, infinite wisdom, divine love, unlimited possibility, and guess what - It is You. No, really - it is you!

I have found that it is important to practice this truth until it becomes accessible to our conscious mind, not just as an abstract idea, but a dynamic fact of every thought and action. That's what Jesus did. He didn't just hangout in this spiritual practice when it was convenient for him.

He didn't say, I can't meditate today because I've gotta go multiply some fish," or "I don't feel like it." He practiced the presence of God until there was no place in his consciousness where Spirit left off and he began. From his realization of oneness, he acknowledged no barriers or limitations - therefore, he didn't experience any.

So through our deliberate and consistent practice of the Presence as our very lives, as we allow our thoughts to rest clearly and definitely on the fact that God "is" that which we are, we too have the power to walk on the water (above the appearances and conditions).

"Fundamental to your experience of more abundance, is the development of your concept of what God is." Willis Kinner (30 Day Mental Diet)

I love you,

Ester

You're a Trust Fund Baby

We've all heard the sayings "he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth." We've designated this privilege only to those born into families that were able to manifest in tangible form financial opulence, affluence and success. But here's the thing, those families could've only manifested abundance by releasing the prosperity that was already within their own consciousness.

Did you know that you too are a Trust Fund Baby and that you were also born with a silver spoon in your mouth? The proof of that fact is demonstrated in the very nature of life. How can the trees in their due season overflow with leaves, and flowers bloom so effortlessly and abundantly, yet some of us struggle to manifest supply? You don't hear the trees freaking out in the winter because it is devoid of leaves. They trust that it is within their inherent nature to manifest what belongs to them by divine birthright. They understand that in the Spring, they will overflow abundantly again. So they chill out in peaceful and joyous expectancy.

We are told in Scripture over and over again "I am forever with you, and all that I have is thine." We are assured the kingdom of heaven is within us, nearer than hands and feet, closer than breathing. The Universe challenges us to "Prove me now herewith if I will not open the windows of heaven and pour out a blessing that there is not enough room to receive."

So, what's up, why aren't you prospering? Because, you don't believe, you don't trust and you don't know what's being held in cosmic escrow for you right now!

How do we connect, accept and manifest the good that is "already done?" We must rest in the realization of oneness with the Divine Nature of the Universe. We clear away the debris of negative thought patterns and fearful beliefs through meditation, meditation and more meditation. From this sacred space, we are led to forgive the resentments we have harbored in consciousness that have blocked the waves of good ready to express in our lives. We become the instruments which the Universal Presence declares its word of absolute good through us. This spiritual activity transforms us by the renewing of our minds and the conditions are made right to receive the gifts of life.

"Set yourself," as Joel Goldsmith of the Infinite Way would say. Set yourself in the realization that the kingdom of God is for you, and nothing is against you.

All is well.

I love you,

Ester

Hi, I'm Ester and I have spent years of my life struggling with food and my weight, or so I thought. I was actually struggling with the false belief that God didn't want anything to do with my food issues. After achieving sobriety based on my spiritual connection, you would think I'd know automatically that there was an obvious disconnection happening where my eating was concerned, but I didn't put those facts together until much later.

It just didn't occur to me in the past that this area needed my spiritual conscious awareness just as much as any other area of my life. This was one place that I thought I could handle on my own, with lots of will power and dieting. I'd do great for a week or two, and then BAM - I'd be on a binge before I even knew how I got there (sound familiar?)

I had to deeply realize that there was another level of spiritual disconnection going on within my consciousness, and that if I was going to ever get a real handle on this, it needed to be addressed from that place. When I overeat, it is not solely based on emotional inbalance and physical cravings, or that "I simply love food".

The foundation of all discord is based on a spiritual malady. This spiritual malady is an erroneous belief in separation from our source – God, Universal Presence, Life or whatever you’re comfortable calling It. When we straighten out spiritually – we come into emotional and physical balance. Through prayer and meditation, we are inspired and led to divine right and perfect action of balanced eating and disciplined loving exercise. Our eating is always a mirror of where we are spiritually vibrating, just like everything else is a mirror for where we are on our spiritual path. Releasing of resentment is an imperative path to reconnecting to Spirit.

Let’s talk about all of it. But most importantly, let’s learn to pray about all of it from the place of our oneness and union with God. From that place, we are already fulfilled, so there’s no craving or compulsion to gorge ourselves by over-filling up on food.

Send me your questions and comments. Share your experiences with us. Let's anchor in a spiritual practice together that will heal and dissolve this issue once and for all. You're also welcome to email me at esternik@earthlink.net

In John 4:32, Jesus is quoted as saying “I have bread to eat that you not of.” The bread he is referring to is the bread of life, of Spirit that is nearer than hands and feet closer than breathing, but we must consciously connect to it, and bring this specific subject to the alter of our spiritual consciousness and intention.

I look forward to healing with you.

Ester