"She Lives"

SOUL RECONNECTION

Well, I’ve finally decided to do it.  Everyone’s been telling me “you need to do a blog”, and I’d say “yeah, yeah – I know”.  How many times a day do we say that to ourselves when it’s brought to our attention or we get that nudge to be bigger than we think we are?  “Yeah, Yeah – I know”, and then nothing.  That is, until it becomes too painful not to be bigger, expand or grow.  Well, the fire of inaction was getting a tad too hot for the kid.  I was going to either burn with that gentle nudge becoming a good old-fashion universal butt whuppin (yeah, I can go there), or get off my butt and say Yes God, Universe, Higher Power, Whoever You Are –  use me, I’ll do it.

 Well, one of the questions that’s kept me away from the “blog” situation, was “what am I gonna talk about”?  The inner-voice within screams “Are You Kidding Me”?  You – Ms. Think You Know It All, Diva of the Highest have nothing to say?  Try again.  Okay, I have lots to say, and once I start saying it, it sounds pretty good, even if I do say so myself (smile).

 So, here I am ready, willing and actually pretty excited to talk to you about Soul Reconnection.  Something I know a little bit about because at the beginning of the year I was so disconnected I thought I was going to die, and you know what, I was dieing and thank God for that.   I was dieing to old beliefs, old habits, old perceptions and old ways of being that were choking me to death.

 I thought that spiritually I had it all together.  I’m 24 years sober, a spiritual practitioner and private counselor, so I knew what I was doing, right?   I prayed, meditated, told God what to do and how to do it.  I had it going on – didn’t I?  Well, by the beginning of January I felt like I had just ran a 20 mile marathon, with no food and water and then went into a sweat lodge of 120 degrees.  I was absolutely depleted.  Not such a bad thing, in fact, it can be a wonderful thing.  Surrender makes the way clear for true guidance and direction to come through.  I wasn’t telling God what to do anymore.  I was ready to LISTEN.  I was humbled to my core and now I could really hear what was being said.

 I took the entire month of January and now well into February to study, meditate, journal and pray FROM my connection to God, not pray TO God from a place of disconnection. Oh, what a difference it makes to reawaken to what’s real.  It feels like I’ve awakened from a deep sleep.

 I’m watching myself release with so much more ease and grace situations which used to distract me and make me crazy.  You know those circumstances and situations where you have to get on the phone and talk to two or three people, either trying to get them to agree with you or comfort you?  Those conversations that keep you in the problem rather than in the solution?  I haven’t had to do that lately.  Because of my commitment to reconnect to my soul, the reality of grace has become more real to me, and more important than the situation itself.

 At first it wasn’t easy.  I thought I had to get in there and fix it, or figure it out, but then I remembered that  “universal spanking” I had received over the holidays.  So, everytime something unpleasant would present itself, I’d stop, pause, say a prayer, become still, and watch as it straightened itself out, or I would be guided to take the perfect action.  I was like “Wow, it is that simple”.  Simple, but not easy.

 You know what the most difficult thing you will ever have to do is?  Let Go.  That’s right, letting go and surrender is the hardest thing you will ever do.  But once you reconnect, and watch that intangible something take over and handle those situations that you can only make worse from your limited perspective, it becomes so simple and beautiful.  It’s like water to dry land.

 So, I invite you on this journey with me.  I’m not gonna get all preachy on you.  I’ll be talking about some real, tangible life experiences, and would love your feedback and questions.  Let’s work them out together by reconnecting to our souls.

 Peace and light.

 Ester

 P,S.  Anybody else tired of the snow?  Ooops, there I go again, trying to tell God what to do.  Never Mind.